Friday, January 18, 2008

Rather than being hypnotized...

Now that we are beginning the descent down from January with New Year's Resolutions and new starts turning into habits, we will soon land in February just in time to take a seat on the up-and-down romance roller coaster. I am sure with all the commercialism of Valentine's Day creeping into the stores, creeping into our consciousness, no one means it to be a cruel reminder of what one may not have. That's right, amid the boxes of chocolate (please oh,please do not gain weight, I love you just the way you are), the stuffed animals (we really should eliminate clutter), and sentimental cards (how nice, someone else's words to express how you feel about me), there is an air of something ugly that looms beneath certain surfaces. I would like to say that I am immune to Valentine's Day - truth is I am not, I enjoy the novelty. But in this profession I have chosen, the misery begins to come out of the wood work near Valentine's Day. You may have read my posts about a friend who wanted me to hypnotize her to not want a relationship. Well, those postings seem to have started to generate a rash of people wanting the same thing. And I tell them the same thing I did my friend - no go. We can work on the feelings behind the wants, but I would not feel right in even approaching such a suggestion.

And it makes me sad, the pain that comes forth at this time. They say Christmas is bad for loneliness. I would say Valentine's Day is bad for making one feel the same or even more inadequate, if you are subject to such feelings.

So, I suggest retaking Valentine's Day. Rather than having expectations that someone else is going to do something romantic for you (and they still may), make it happen for yourself. Either plan it as a total giving event, an act of kindness for others, or how about this, an act of kindness for yourself. Romance yourself on that day. Take yourself out to lunch or dinner. Or even check out different valentines gift ideas in cyber space. Sometimes spending a few dollars on orchids to embrace your inner wildness is not a bad thing to do. Or send someone you know who is not going to be celebrating this holiday of love some carnations, which stand for devotion.

How you deal with the impending holiday is completely in your control. It is all in the mind. Make it what you want it to be.

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