Friday, August 10, 2007

I am a Sinner - a story of lost rapport

When I had my not-so-great Tuesday, I wrote several things down after my client left and thought I would share some of it with you, granted it has been spruced up.

I am a sinner, I must confess. No, I do not mean in the biblical sense, but in professionalism. And I even had the perfect excuse. I over slept.

Yep, and so it happened, the one day I let my hair down, I got caught in my sin. And that was my sin –letting my hair down. I ran late the other morning. Rather than doing full make-up, putting in the contacts, ironing my dress, putting on stockings and fishing the heels out from under the bed (from kicking them off the night before), I merely brushed my hair, powdered my face, found my glasses in the blur of the world, and dressed in capris and a turtleneck. Now I did not quite go for flip-flops, but did go for comfortable slip ons. Okay, and I admit, I have waited too long between manicures.

Well, I thought it was professional enough, at least it was not the ripped jeans I wore the night before or the t-shirt (featuring Marlyn Mansion). And I did brush my hair. I was wrong. I think it all made me look much too casual. Though I tell perspective clients to come to the appointment in their most comfortable clothes, I guess it does not apply to me.

And, I think I was judged by this new client. I think I lost rapport and the session did not go as well as it could have. Perhaps this is more about me than the poor client, though. It may have been my own self-image that caused the barrier. I had over slept and my allergies were going to town, so did not feel my best going into it

Moral to the story – there is no excuse for relaxing on the professionalism. A wise person once said, “it is at the times you do not feel like throwing a party, that you need to clean yourself up, put on a smile, and throw a party.” I think that is exactly right.


Paul said...

Guess I'm a little ambivalent to comment this time since I made myself a promise years past that the "shirt and tie" routine simply wasn't part of my repertoire. While I understand the concept of "professionalism" I consider my own comfort and ease more important - if I'm stiff and uncomfortable in the clothes I'm wearing it's just going to come across and the client will/would pick up on it on that unconscious level.

We can lie to ourselves, we can even lie to others, but unconsciously nothing is hidden.

Was watching a training video the other day from Cal Banyan and he's *always* in a button down shirt and tie and, well, bleh. I guess my description is "It's boring." I just can't think of any other way to describe it, really. There's just no personality, no spark, no creativity that I pick up on, just some guy doing his job.

I did some research on that NGH "Gold" event, but if I had the choice, I'd be heading to Hypnoticon without a second thought about it. I compare the list of guests at both events and Hypnoticon looks like something that's happening, that's on the cutting edge, that doesn't hold back... and the NGH guest list looks like a bunch of people that really need to get out more. Just my impressions, but then again I'm as far removed from a "typical" hypnotist as one could be I suppose, in more respects than I care to admit here. :)

I think hypnosis should be fun above and beyond anything else - more change is done when people are comfortable and in a good mood than dour and sour. People remember good times and forget/repress the bad ones. Why should using hypnosis be so cold and stodgy, even for the hypnotists themselves?

I'd say you understood on that unconscious level that "you let your hair down" and didn't quite feel right about it, and the client picked up on it, that's all. No worries... Your statement "did not feel my best going into it" holds the answer right there.

You're going to be just fine, lady. :)

Have fun, always...

The Transparent Hypnotist said...

Thanks for the words of pep. They are deeply appreciated.

Interesting about Solid Gold, though, from what I have noticed from past years, the closer it gets to that time, the more information goes out. Usually about a month or two before, it starts looking pretty intriguing. But, to each his own. :)

Kathryn Elliott said...

I completely agree with Paul, it's all about how professional you feel. I'm a nutritionist and herbalist and I see clients privately. I think I can get away with being a bit more casual - most clients are expecting somebody a bit hippy-ish!

However, if you don't feel good and you don't feel professional, it's going to come across in how you present yourself.

No matter how good you are, there are always going to be bad days. Plus there are always going to be clients you just don't hit it off with. That's normal, that's human.

The Transparent Hypnotist said...

Thanks Kathryn! there are times when I really wish I could pull off the casual look, but I fear, it just is not me while in hypnotist mode. So, you are both right. I do need to dress how I feel most comfortable.