What I Learned This Last Week

I'm back with my coffee cup in hand. I really missed you all this past week.

With little Internet access these last several days and much time for contemplation, I discovered a simple truth of life. It is up to each of us to pay attention to ourselves, help others when we can, but to know that there are some things others must do for themselves. Perhaps this seems simplistic, but I think it is so easy for each of us (do gooders) to charge in without thought of consequence to rescue someone from themselves. Things difficult for others seem so easy for us to decipher, and there we are, feet past the threshold, perhaps taking over, making comments and suggestions to ease someone else's burdens, especially loved ones. But truth be told, by doing for one's self or letting others proceed without interruption is a fundamental way of learning.

Perhaps we learn the lesson of just “being there” while raising children or perhaps we learn it in small revolutions (like this one). It seems a simple concept, but harder to implement. The desire is to help, but maybe the other person needs to learn to ask for “help.” By helping when help is not sought, it creates friction in relationships, potential unhealthy dependency, or it may just cause others to avoid seeking help when necessary.

This comes about after observing friends and family this past week as some struggled with illness and injury, job dissatisfaction, and job changes. In watching different dynamics, I came to the conclusion it was best to offer help (not charge in and just do it), listen and ask a few clarifying questions, and continue my lot in life, being the quintessential mental cheerleader, trusting in the learning process within others. It was also a lesson in patience.

And this lead to thoughts about my role as a hypnotist. Client success occurs most often when the people seeking my services really want and are ready for assistance in learning about themselves. Success is when the client supposedly seeking help, understands that they are helping themselves. It is they who actually make the changes they want to make. For those hoping I will instantly take away or change something for them (turning them into zombies to do as I bid them), they maybe sadly disappointed.