What Not To Say When Someone Wants Smoking Cessation

One of the hardest things to do when maintaining a transparent blog is to admit mistakes. Sometimes it would be much easier to not mention them and let them go unannounced (with the false ego-based assumption that I remotely appear infallible -lol). However, mistakes are a necessary part of life and are not really that negative in some realms. Rather they are opportunities for learning. Learn I did and maybe my experience will stop this from happening to someone else, maybe even you.

I totally missed the boat with a potential smoking cessation client this week. Often I get calls from people who seek my services for smoking cessation. Many do not make appointments directly, instead they tell me they are going on holiday the following week, giving a dissertation, or going to court and they chose to make the appointment following whatever event. So this time, I was asked if it would be better if they waited until after after the stressful event next week. Rather than creating a positive suggestion and saying "no, you will be tobacco free by next week," I said "Let's do it the week after." (And I am booked this week, which I neglected to say as well). So, they promptly told me they would call me back later the schedule the appointment - which they have not.

I am not beating myself up over this, but in hind sight, I think they were looking for reassurance and I did not give them anything to boost their confidence and I may have made them lose some belief about hypnosis that may have been important to their success. Lesson learned.

A Romantic Notion

Sheepishly, I wish you a decent Valentine's Day. I say sheepishly because it is one of those contrived holidays that people are either for or against. I always tell myself I do not care about it and will ignore it. But the truth is, it makes me a bear when I try not to do this. So instead, I buy myself flowers or gumdrops and enjoy the day. It is not every day that you can get cinnamon, red-hot hearts.

With all this in mind, I have a romantic little client story for you. I am seeing a client who is giving her spouse a wonderful gift today. She has chosen Valentine's Day as her smoking quit day. For years her husband has urged her to try smoking cessation and now she is moving forward with it. For those of you in the know who are shaking your head, thinking quitting because someone else jeers you towards it will never work, please keep reading. She has been thinking and planning this since January. She used to be a jogger and has decided to go back to this form of exercise. Her lung capacity for air seems much less, and she views this as a sign of potential upcoming issues with remaining a smoker. In short, she is afraid.

Her plan is two fold. She has begun taking Chantix (a prescription medication to help along smoking cessation) and hypnosis. Now some hypnotists will tell you that doing both is overkill. I will agree somewhat, but I feel we all know ourselves. If she already has the mindset that the two will work, I am not going to take that away and convince her otherwise.

What I did not know about Chantix was what it cost. My client does not have a prescription plan with her health insurance (and since I am still miffed with the blue insurance company with a cross to bear I am always looking for options to help defray the cost of medical care in the States). This prescription is apparently pretty pricey. Enter eDrugstore.MD. This company has been an Internet resource for the past eight years and offers very competitive pricing, including $20 off refills (this is for any prescription). What is helpful about this site is that when you view the various drug pages, it provides a lot of easy-to-read information about that particular product. For each, it explains exactly what it is and how it works (and side effects). Chantix, for instance, blocks the effects of nicotine while reducing cravings. It also gives a detailed plan in how to use it - start taking it seven days before the planned quit day...and so on. They also have a section called "Ask a Physician" where you can type in your questions about your prescription and get an answer from a real doctor. This is especially nice for those of us with doctors who do not like it when patients ask questions. This particular online pharmacy also only carries the authentic drugs - no generics (so their selection of available prescriptions is not very inclusive, except for the popular drugs), which they buy directly from the pharmaceutical companies (FDA approved, by the way).

So, here it is, Valentine's Day, my client's quit day. When I asked how she is going to tell her husband about this, she says she is going to wrap her last pack of cigarettes with two pairs of scissors and present them to him. When he looks puzzled, she is going to tell him that she has quit and if he chooses, he can help her cut up the cigarettes as a tribute to his support for her. Destruction on Valentine's Day, I love it.

By the way, hypnotist, they also offer an interesting affiliate program.

Another Reason to Use Convincers

One of yesterday's sessions ended in a very odd way. There was nothing very unusual in the request - smoking cessation. My client was a young man who had quit before using hypnosis. It had last a few months until a crisis happened and he started up again. Also he had quit during his wife's pregnancy with no effort, then when the child was born, he started again. But, before he turns 40, he had wanted to be rid of the habit. No problem.

We went through the pre-talk. I asked him what he remembered about his first hypnosis session. He did not remember too much. Again, no problem. I always ask about people's other hypnosis experiences to get a feeling where they are in comprehension of hypnosis and what differences to expect from me.

He did great when I put him through a few paces to see how he processed information and to get an idea about how our rapport was working out. And so I believed it would be a good session (I am still pretty sure it was - it was just odd) and worked with a permissive, traditional approach. Induction, deepener, depth test and convincers before beginning the suggestion work. Excellent, textbook responses.

At the end, once he had opened his eyes, he looked at me and said that he had heard every word going on in the office below me, as well as the outside street noises. I explained that some people experience a hyper-awareness of the senses. Then he said I needed to get what his other hypnotist used - a sound system where the client wears soundproof earphones and I do the session speaking through a microphone that is connected to the earphones (yikes, more wires everywhere). This means there is no opportunity for outside noises to be a distraction. I see the point. But I come from the school of philosophy that says hypnosis does not require sense deprivation or total silence other than the sound of my voice. I work the background noises into my patter and allow the client plenty of time to acclimate to the various noises around us.

Then my client remembered his whole first session. It sounded like a lovely guided visualization. But I found myself on edge a bit, as though I was about to be criticized. I know there was a comparison process going on within him, but it felt like he was going to be not so favorable to my version (now mind you, I suspect this was an internal thing within me and not him). Before he could start to unravel the work we had just done, I remembered I had given him a post hypnotic suggestion to lose a certain number when counting. I suddenly asked him to count and the number was gone. I snapped my fingers twice (which was also suggested during the session) and the numbers came back. He looked very startled. He said he had thought it impossible, he knew the numbers, but then just could not say the one I suggested he lose.

He left with the standard - hope I never see you again line. (Me too.) Then as he was walking out the door said he would be calling me in a few months to work on weight loss.

A Problematic Potential Client

There you are, all peaceful and grateful for the air you are currently breathing. Perhaps you are afraid to be too hopeful, yet, most things are well in your world. Then something large or small shatters it and you are left wondering - what the HELL happened? Does this ring true for anyone else?

Well this recently happened to me after an initial visit with a potential new client. He came to discuss the possibility of me hypnotizing him for smoking cessation. I have always been very respectful of those who choose this route of consultation rather than just making an appointment for the session itself. It gives both of us an opportunity to know if we want to work together. And I just realized as I typed those very words, that this is indeed the case - we both get to decide.

At first I was going to use this post to rant about how he was completely distasteful and would probably not be a great client - I am not so sure he is capable of listening to my suggestions. My impression from our meeting is that he was more curious about hypnosis (in a skeptical kind of way with ideas of disproving it) and about not letting a "female" take control of him (even though I tried in vain apparently- to explain that the hypnotist is never in control of the client and that if he does not believe it will work, it probably will not).

There is always a pang of something when I realize I may not be able to help someone who seeks my services, but I suspect this man (my polite side wants to call him a gentleman, but the truth side of my consciousness is unable to do so) would be wasting his money. Yuck.

So rather than the vent session I had thought this would be, what I have come to realize in writing this, is that I do not have to accept him as a client and that is just fine.

Yuck and good riddance.

The Far East of Here

Chicory coffee and Beignets - that is where my heart is this Fat Tuesday morning. While the rest of the States are geared up for Super Tuesday, I am not. I am sitting here, trying to get myself motivated to go vote and there is a certain detachment that has occurred within my being, almost like low-grade depression. It seems a waste to put Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday on the same day. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Perhaps it is that I am still a bit bummed about missing Hypnoticon last weekend or the realization that I probably will not make it Vegas for Solid Gold either, too much going on to be able to get away, but I really think a change of perspective would be good about now. But not to addle you with my own half-empty thoughts today, I can pinpoint my issues.

I have a client I am working with who has a fabulous trip planned to the Far East (is that still PC or is the term out of favor?). In between the wonderful travel itinerary and exoticness of it all, there is a world of anxiety. The long flights to Hong Kong, not speaking the language, and even the different diet are conflicting with her desire to travel. So, we are working on all this - enjoying the release from having to be in control during the flight and using that time for therapeutic rest and healing. This along with suggestion work on concentration and retention for learning the language, as well as self-permission to eat only what appeals and not feel forced to eat anything she finds distasteful, all serve to give her more pleasure once there. However I suspect once she gets caught up in the trip itself, she will be fine. It is just the pre-jitters and some other inner issues that are adding to her guilt in going (leaving the children with the grandparents for the first time) and such.

So as I work on pulling a program together for her, I get this slight pang and longing to be the one going on this trip.

But, it's Fat Tuesday. I will have and eat my king cake, too.

The Java Obsession

Well. Happy Tuesday. I have been busy researching a few thing of interest for this blog, but alas not much has come together at this point. It will have to wait then for the greater good.

Instead, you get me, pure Ellie and her tales from the sessions. Oh dear, do I see another segment forming? Hmmm.

Recently, I had a client who wanted help with giving up over indulgences, an interesting and enlightened idea. She had a caffeine habit that she wanted to quell. Hers was a problem of the old coffee pot at work thing, where there is always a pot full and ready for consumption. She would start the morning with a cup and thoughts of having just one, but the morning would pass into afternoon and she would end up consuming the whole pot. Yet, when she was not at the office, she said she would not even really think about making coffee for herself and did just fine. I find that to be highly interesting. Caffeine addiction or even a warped addiction that is space and time based? Is that possible?

I gave her a few choices in the direction we could go with the session - traditional hypnosis and suggestion work or a client-based procedure. And internally I bet she would go for traditional, but she did not. She asked for the more involved, client-based type. Using ideometric hand signals (for those new to such things, this means having the client respond to yes, no, and don't know questions using finger gesture responses), she indicated that her issues with over-indulgence was an imprint from her mother. Diving into this, the coffee over indulgence came from her mother's coping system of dealing with a large family and staying awake, as well as tossing the java back during the stressful times. Hmmmm. Sounds really familiar (well, not the large family part).

From there we began to search for solutions to help my client control the over indulgence, which ultimately became the suggestions and a plan. We worked on differentiating my client's world from her mother's and used a suggestion about enjoying a cup a day to its fullest extent and being satisfied with it. After the session, she put together a list of subtle changes she would make, like making really good coffee at home and bringing it to work in a travel mug to keeping a running count of cups of coffee she consumes.

The good thing is that she choose the direction of the session (as do all of my clients) and I would have sworn she was more of a traditional hypnosis gal, but when we were done she thought the experience was better than she had imagined it would be. Nice.